What are the qualities that make Stripey Francoise such an admirable feline? Herewith, I shall enumerate two hands’ worth of them. This list cannot possibly hope to be comprehensive, because her splendor is infinite and diverse; and because, from her current lodgings in Buckingham Palace—where, in a reverse Mr. Belvedere–style maneuver, she relocated after raising our family in Fargo—she continues to delight both the eye and the mind, if not the ear and the nose. But I dawdle. Onward!

10 Things That Are Great About Stripey Francoise

1. Always immediately explored behind the refrigerator when entering a new home. No one else could be trusted with a job of such import.
2. Thoroughly roamed and sniffed Fargo’s Sixth through Eighth streets along 15th Avenue, and the surrounding environs. The heart of an explorer!
3. Endured hard time in Cat Jail, which strongly resembled an upside-down laundry basket, with grace and dignity, as well as multiple other discourtesies inflicted upon her by two little boys. Saintly patience!
4. Refused to panic when accidentally shut inside the attic or a comfortable linen drawer that happened to be open just when a nap seemed most desirable. Fortitude and faith in her imminent rescue.
5. Puffed up her tail so that it was VERY BIG when confronted by an angry raccoon. Courageously, never broke eye contact as she backed into the house.
6. Panted when riding in the car, and only when riding in the car. Quite adorable!
7. Caught mouses, birds, squirrels, and rabbits, and always promptly presented them to Mom. Chipping in!
8. Looked very good in blue. Also, had brown mole on right cheek. Fabulous! And fierce!
   
9. Let bygones be bygones, after the time her nap in a paper bag with handles was abruptly and rudely interrupted, by someone (who shall go unnamed) picking up said paper bag by the handles and tornado-ing it around. Philosophical!
10. Turns 29 today. Venerable!

Here is Stripey Francoise with her fellow pets, Nip and Tuck:

She only ever tried to eat them when they got out of their cage, and, when they were moved from the cage to a terrarium with a screen on top, frequently kept them company by resting on the screen, which at times threatened to buckle under her mass. No dummy, this cat. You don’t live to be 29 if you are a dummy.

The last time I saw Stripey Francoise in person (she now communicates with me sporadically via email, but more often with my wife), she had wandered out of our backyard and into that of our neighbors to the rear. They had a blond boy who was about three, and, I learned, she would visit him frequently, so that she could be petted and otherwise gently touched. He understood instinctively, as do all Friends to Cats, that he should leave her vulnerable white underbelly alone, unless it was presented to him for scratching. I like to think it was her visits with him that reminded Stripey Francoise of all the good work she had done, helping her two young charges become men, and that such reminiscence provided the closure necessary for her to begin her travels elsewhere around the globe.

And I look forward to the day she returns to tell us everything about her time with the Queen and her journeys to other exotic locales. She will have to paint a picture with her words, as she can not take very many photographs. She has no thumbs.

OK, sure, yes, we are turning into the people who post cute cat pictures on their blogs. BUT LOOK AT THIS PICTURE OF PRISCILLA. Honestly.

Number two: WE HAVE FINALLY NAMED THE CAT. Some of you might have thought this happened several days ago, when we told you her name was Petunia Pufferson. We we wrong. After getting to know her a little better, we have determined that her name is actually Priscilla Pufferson (still of the Madison Puffersons), which affords us the opportunity to refer to her both as “Priscilla, Queen of the Basement” and Silly, which is just, like, so clever of us. Also, she is really silly.